Toxic Positivity


In my work I keep noticing how toxic positivity is so isolating. I talk about it often because it’s huge! I’m a very solution focused individual so I don’t mean focusing on the problem (no!) but I see the pain that toxic positive advice creates. When someone mentions a pain or feeling they are showing strength so instead be present with them in that moment. Usually when we come back with a platitude be happy statement it’s due to our uneasy feeling in that moment. Don’t make it about you (I say this nicely).

Pause and say “sounds like it’s really hard for you right now” then let them have space to be REAL and not have to be positive to make you feel good. Then after they have this lovely freedom to be true and not feeling judged for not being positive then the person is more likely to feel loved and heard. This is kindness and love in action. This is positive. Hopefully after feeling free they might be open to seeing the next steps … and are able to be in a solution focused mindset. I’m all about moving into a more healthier place believe me!! I want people to become unstuck!

But Listen and be present first - it’s called connection to the human part in all of us. Understand and connect first. Less than positive emotions are not negative they just are emotions. Accepting them all allows us to listen better. And also helps with self compassion- WHICH is TRUE POSITIVE ENERGY.

Thought I’d share what I have truly experienced in my journey in being in the helping profession.

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